THE WOMEN'S MARCH IN LOS ANGELES 2017
There it was again, one of those earth-shaking not exactly new or surprising articles online. The AgeLab informed and promised older women like myself that the future will be female. Just like that. Yeah, no kidding? I'm listening. I'm waiting!
He claims that older women are changing the workplace, therefore the world, mostly because they don't want to retire (sure, they've been taking care of everything for so long that it would feel "unnatural" to lazily lean back). They also live longer, are very experienced and finally more self-assured and ready for another round of real life. Oh, and they get a lot of divorces after 50, so no one is bothering them with "menwhining" (my knew word). So it's us all over again?
I'm not Debbie Downer, for sure, but I'm not totally buying it. Looking back, I have heard all that before, starting in the late sixties. Back then it was all about the dynamic, fresh and fearless, newly emancipated females who would take over the world for sure because they wore mini-skirts, had jobs and did a lot of shopping. Of course, men stayed in power - like they always have - and wondered what had gotten into the all of a sudden feisty females. But they weren't truly worried, men never are (UNTIL NOW), they'll get over it, these crazy girls aren't a real threat they thought.
But more women than ever got a fabulous education and increasingly better jobs - yet somehow remained modest, flexible and grateful and stayed in the back-row, like they always do.
Another group, the "Women's Liberation" gang had bigger and more daring ideas and acted on them. They weren't only fierce self-defenders; they were true activists who re-introduced themselves as intelligent, sassy, self-aware, confident women who basically wanted to blow-up the "planet man" with all the pompous pashas, misogynists and chauvinists, aggressors and egomaniacs on it. The enemy was caught. Round one of rage. Let it bleed.
Cut to the eighties: All of a sudden there were women with pussy-bow-blouses and layered hair, with shoulder pads and pantsuits marching into all offices, ready to really leave their mark in a men's world. They tried to be outstanding at their job - a balancing act - since they also didn't want to scare the poor men who still thought that women should see working as a hobby, not a necessity or personal fulfillment. But the women were extremely successful, so all their talent and efficiency were seen as a threat. The men resorted to the tried-and-true usual bullshit of attacking and demeaning women. Sexual harassment reared its old and ugly head and was publicly and privately targeted for the first time. There was some suing by women going on, a lot of hush-money was doled out, some won in court, most lost - and silence followed. Money gags outcries all the time.
Accusing them of having lost their "natural femininity" had its effect, too. Always vulnerable and deeply insecure, the women had doubts about their own accomplishments, and stepped back a bit. Why not starting a family, they thought, instead of howling with the big corporate wolves in the boardroom without being heard? And so they did. A lot of them.
But some also re-assessed the whole idea of accepting being a powerless woman in this world and opted for childlessness and a career matching those of men's. But fear set in, too, the professional always being the personal as well with women. Then a big backlash was on in the 90s, where feminism was blamed for the ills of the world (including men's discomfort with strong women); sexual harassment hadn't quit, just like the biggest inequity scandal till today - lesser pay than the men. So many asked: Aren't we too bold? What would happen to us if we would lose our traditional ways? The media had the answers. Accusations and gleeful predictions were thrown at the sinners like in a witches' tribunal: Loneliness and bitterness will be the price, as always. Slowly, feminism and rebellion as a tool or just an idea was as dead as Birkenstock sandals and seen as outmoded nonsense that was in stark contrast to the world of shopping, disco, drugs and hedonism.
Women became increasingly angry and frustrated; they were still raising the kids and cleaning house 90%, on top of holding underpaid exhausting jobs. It didn't seem to go anywhere. Maybe out of exhaustion, maybe disillusion killed the desire to rebel.
New generations of women came, kind of clueless and without much bite, who had never really heard of the original feminist struggle - women's uprising in general. That's when the older women of 50 plus finally spoke up and told their stories of early fights, and wondered what had happened to their naive daughters. It looked as if they truly believed that they had everything, they've won all the battles, there was no need to fight and push and provoke; men had changed, too, was their silly (and incorrect) impression. They'd got it all wrong, of course. WE knew that. And still do.
And here we are now - old or as they say, "older", getting upgraded to being the real winners. Is this a late true victory? A medal that's being pinned on us for bravery and survival in a basically still sexist, hostile environment run by frightened, often shoddy perpetrators and patriarchs?
I don't need an "upgrade", I'm more amused than flattered. I could say, "I told you so!" I knew we would be the ones having the last laugh - or at least a chuckle, even scream "victory". But I won't, because the battle is still raging. And what I truly also know is one thing. What we need for the future is one creature we either have to dug up in us - if she ever existed - or invent and fabricate out of sheer conviction: The Disobedient Woman! She'll take care of almost everything.
